I can’t say for sure, but I suspect the issue is that, for all intents and purposes, pumpkin spice is the Uggs of the food world. Its primary use is to give lonely dudes a convenient means to talk shit about the women who will never fuck them while making it seem like there’s more to their “outrage” than that. There isn’t. You don’t hate pumpkin spice, you hate that you haven’t had sex in years. Spend less time sharpening your latte jokes and more time working on your people skills. Everyone will be better for it, barring anyone you eventually build up the courage to speak to, probably. But at least we won’t have to hear you fucking whine about what people are ordering at Starbucks anymore. That’s all that matters.
The best cure for a dry mouth is a wet vagina.